Give Specific Appreciations

Give Specific Appreciations

Generic appreciation (“thanks for everything you do”) feels nice but doesn’t create the same impact as specific recognition. When you notice and name exactly what your partner did and how it affected you, you’re training both of you to see and repeat those connecting behaviors.

The format matters: what they did + how it impacted you. This helps your partner understand not just that you noticed, but why their action was meaningful. It also helps them understand your emotional needs and how to meet them.

Regular appreciation creates an upward spiral in relationships. When people feel seen and valued for specific actions, they naturally want to do more of those things.